The night of March 13th 1969 will be in my heart forever, because that is the the nigh I went into labor. It was quite a surprise as i was fast asleep and awoke to go to the rest room. But that's not what happened. My water broke at around 11:00 pm. Needless to say but I was scared to death. I woke the woman I lived with and from then on it was a whirlwind. Of course the Dr. didn't want me to wait because they wanted me put to sleep as soon as possible. We went immediately to the hospital and I was met at the door with a wheel chair and a nurse. Then taken and prepped, and put to sleep right away. it's a very empty feeling waking after carrying a child for 9 months to nothing. total emptiness. I wanted it over so bad I didn't think about how I would feel when it was over. The pain would last longer than I ever imagined.
The days in the hospital were hard. the day I signed my son over to someone else was terrible.

I tried to go to the nursery on the last day but was stopped at the door, because his new family had come for him. Thank god his aunt saw my name on his little bracelet,and remembered it for years. I had the empiest feeling for so long. I stayed in Jacksonville about 2 weeks. I was ready to go home,although I don't know why. I didn't realize how my mom had suffered because of me. Could I ever make it up to her? I stayed at my boyfriends house for a few days till they found someplace else to stay. We think were so smart at 18. I wish I had someone to tell me what it would be like. Mabe things would have been different. You think your on top of the world one day and the next youre whole life is shattered. I don't know why I continued to stay with my boyfriend knowing he had no interest in having children. why didn't I see that. I guess I was blinded by what I thought was love.